Hello peeps and peepettes. I’m soooo sorry. I’ve been caught up with being a newly married dude and having 57 Asians now looking at me to get my life together (that, and I bought Arkham City…and ordered 17 boxes of porn). Now that my in-laws have stressed me out, and I’m sore in naughty places, I decided to write up summ’n. Needless to say, I’ve neglected my quasi-loyal fan base of misfits, losers, and knobs. So as in with all my blurbs, I would like to first offer a disclaimer for all the thin skins and pantywaists who might be disturbed by off-color comments such as, “That girls breath is so bad, it’s like she gargles with penis in the morning”. Beware: You will be offended by something dumb thing I say. So um…yeah be prepared for stuff like that. This is going to be brief and I apologize because I know peoples is (*bad grammar intended) waiting for the conclusion to the legacy article that I’ve been writing. I promise that its half done and I’m just rounding it out.
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| Bunnies get a lotta tail. So metal |
So I wanted to start off small and just do a MiPod article about one of my favorite bands; He is Legend. I remember that I saw them some years ago when they opened for some heavy ass band that I came to the venue to see. From the start they looked like a typical opening band; guitarist had his sleeves cut off and the bassist was arched forward into his pickups. I didn’t pay it too much mind until they started playing and their singer started prancing around the stage, like strait up prancing in the most queer sense of the word. I was so gob smacked that he would do that with tight jeans and a handlebar mustache in a room full of testosterone filled metal heads. It was the biggest faux pax, not as in “XXX whiskey fo’ pa on the porch", but it really made me think that this is really one daring mo’phucka! Overall, I really didn’t know what to make of the whole situation, but I have to admit that they really put on a great set. They ended with the song “ I am Hollywood”, which almost literally knocked my balls off. Being that one of my things is checking out opening bands that impress me, when I got home, tired, sweaty, and half deaf, I checked them out on the interweb like the kids do…
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| taking a break from prancing and waving his arms... |
He is Legend is the name and being excellent is their game. They are a southern metalcore band that started destroying crowds in 2003. For you literate folks, yes they are named after the vampire book, not the bad Will Smith vampire movie just to be clear. I have to say that since that fateful set some years ago, I have been a loyal HIL fan. Schuyler (lead singer) without a second thought has one of the best and most versatile voices that I’ve heard in metal or any other genre band. This combined with his veeeeery unusual lyrics, and genuinely good song writing made these guys a force in my opinion. Any singer who can write a 3 part horror story about a family gardener is cool in my book no matter how much he prances. The thing that really tore me up about those songs is that at least the first part sounded like a love song; a damn good one too. “I am the noises that you hear when you’re in bed, and I’ll be the last thing that you hear before you’re dead!” (*Ref: China White II). Now that’s just epic songwriting.
So to close, I suggest that you check them out. If you’re not a metalhead and you ‘scriminate against “screamy” music, I suggest you get over your pretention take a listen. Schuyler's singing voice is absolutely immense. "The Seduction" is definitely the most fun and well done metal love songs ever. This is one of those bands that I think has something for everyone. If you've ever had your heart broken, or hated someone, or have ever been stalked by your gardener, then this might be the band for you. Unfortunately they may be on an indefinite hiatus now, which is music industry speak for, “they fought over the last Dorito and broke the fuck up”. Despite that, check out their 3 and a half existing CDs. In their short time in existence they have quickly solidified their spot as one of my favorite metalcore bands, and just like a good metalcore band, you always feel good and uplifted after having listened to them. So check out the links and rock out. "JUUUULIEEEET!!! YOU KNOW YOU WANT IT!!!!"
