I was thinking that it was about time that I did a movie review (or endorsement)…unfortunately I haven’t been able to decide on which movie I want to review (or endorse) because I’m an indecisive bastard. As always, before I start talking, let’s get some of the disclaimers out of the way. Number one: I’m only going to review movies that I like and would possibly recommend people to see. This is in stark contrast to the movies that you like, which probably suck. I just wanted to get that hump out of the way. Number two: there will be no pretentious dissections because pretentious dissections by people who think that they’re god’s gift to film make me want to punch starving children in the face…REPEATEDLY. Number three: there will potentially be swearing, off-color comedy, and potentially some sacrilege. I know that you guys wouldn’t expect any less from me…So just so you know that I was completely serious about those disclaimers: PENIS! |
| 1-800-WET-BOYS |
So to begin, I saw Let Me In about 3 weeks ago after it was recommended by both my tallest and shortest friends respectively. It had been some time since I had seen vampire movie so I thought that I would give it a shot. Bottom line is that I liked it, though it wasn’t quite what I expected. Describing this movie as "horror" is perhaps a little bit too strong of a descriptor. What I felt that they did right was giving us a multi-dimensional vampire that stayed true to the origins. I don’t know if you all have been paying attention, but in the past couple of years the whole country has become obsessed with sparkling, vegetarian, Abercrombie & Bitch, 90210, queerio vampires that sweep impressionable tweens off their feet. As a historical point of contention let me make one clear statement…VAMPIRES DO NOT WEAR SKIN TIGHT JEANS, HANG OUT ON THE CW NETWORK, SPARKLE, OR GET THEIR HAIR DONE BY PAUL FUCKIN’ MITCHELL. VAMPIRES ARE DEMONIC, AND THEY FUCKIN' KILL PEOPLE! How much of their previous humanity they keep after they transformation is a point of debate. So it’s refreshing to see a movie that’s based on a book that’s not trying to sugar coat the lore to make a buck. I haven’t seen a finer depiction of a vampire since, well John Carpenter’s Vampires.
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| Far cry from Hit Girl? Not so much... |
Just so that we are clear, this movie is actually a love story of sorts. Without going into too much detail and spoiling it for you all, the main character is a little boy in a little podunky town in New Mexico. This little boy is extremely scrawny and androgynous looking and consequently has three bullies that make his life hell. Of course, to complete the pie, he has no friends. This changes when an equally strange little girl moves into his apartment complex with her father and slowly befriends him. As you will surmise early in the film, the little girl is actually a vampire and is as equally outcast as the little boy. This is mainly because she FUCKIN' KILLS PEOPLE. This establishes an almost odd mirror image dichotomy, as both can only really leave the confines of their respective loneliness at night with each other. In the words of Marge Simpson, “Theres just something so unwholesome about flying a kite at night”. So there’s something that’s so unwholesome about a little boy that only goes out to play after eight at night. There’s all of the other cliché’s that go with an adolescent love story such as trips to the candy store, getting into mom’s old records, embarrassing yourself on your first date, and rubiks cube on the jungle gym. You can call me a sap, but I think it worked well for the story. Despite being a demonic unholy killing machine, the little girl was just as human as the rest of us, and that crushes are usually a very awkward affair.
I don’t want to divulge too much because, again I want you to see it. Overall I would say that I was very impressed with it, and encourage you to check it out.
